Crossroads in the Palace of Wisdom
by BornThisWay
Summary: For JessicaHardy. Mischief is abound in the WWE when Michelle decides to take her friend's relationship issues into her own hands. Set around the Palace of Wisdom episode "Drew McIntyre's Lady Problems".


This doesn't exactly flow well. I've never written Michelle or Cody in my life and there's a good chance I will never do so again! Jess, I hope you enjoy it. I'm sorry if there isn't as much Cody as you would have liked. There is less John though and a LOT of Michelle. This scenario is totally unbelievable also.

This one shot is based around Episode 5 of the Palace of Wisdom: Drew McIntyre's Lady Problems.

This is fiction - the opinions written here are based on a small element of truth and do not reflect that of the individuals in real life. I don't own anything you recognise.

The brilliance of John Morrison is in italics.

* * *

It was Tuesday afternoon.

"_Hi, I'm your Intercontinental Champion John Morrison and this week I went to the Toronto Bluejays training facility where I clocked the speed of my foot while kicking at 65 miles per hour. Wha-cha!"_

Melina snorted, shaking her head.

A joint Raw/ Smackdown taping was set to take place later that evening and she was set to defend her Championship against Beth Phoenix. In the meantime, she found herself in one of the WWE's numerous production trucks, watching her best friend John Morrison film the introduction and conclusion to an episode of the Palace of Wisdom that she had been conned into appearing in. "Always with the kung fu," she mumbled to the woman standing beside her. "Are you sure you're okay with this?"

Michelle McCool shook out her long blonde hair, shooting Melina a small smile. "I guess so?" She laughed quietly. "I don't know, I think it's kind of cool to be on the Palace of Wisdom. Even if it's not really me."

"Oh thank God," Melina muttered. "I told John he should have asked you first."

"Hey," Michelle squeezed her hand lightly. "If there was ever going to be some impersonate me, I'm glad it was you."

"You say that now," the raven haired wrestler joked. "Wait until you hear how I butchered your accent."

Michelle winced. "That bad?"

"Well, ah," Melina flushed. "You _are_ from the South … right?"

"_And this is the Palace of Wisdom so prepare to open your mind while I drop some knowledge on your brain. This week, we're going to talk about the new kid on the block. No offence, Joey McIntyre, today we're going to talk about Drew McIntyre. You know that angry Scottish guy that keeps beating up R-Truth for some reason? Y'know, to me, all that pent up aggression says one thing. The guy has lady problems. Now, I know what you're thinking, he's a big star, on TV, how could he have lady problems? But, today, I witnessed an incident in catering that proves exactly my point. So right now, we're going to go to a totally live re-enactment of said incident_."

Michelle frowned. "Isn't that the shirt you got him for his birthday?"

Melina sighed. They had fought on John's birthday and she didn't particularly feel like being reminded of it. "Yeah. It is." Michelle went to speak, only to be cut off. "I mean, it's not as awesome as the shirt Kelly got him, I bet. But it's from me."

"Things still aren't going well?" The blonde asked sympathetically. Melina shook her head vehemently, tears that were quickly gathering threatening to spill over. Ever since their separation she had been desperate to give things a second go with John, yet he wouldn't have a bar of it. "Oh honey," Michelle murmured, wrapping an arm around her friend. Yes, they had had their differences in the past, but if anyone knew anything about the pressures of dating a WWE Superstar, it was her. She had been with Mark for a long time before getting involved with Cody. It made things very awkward at times backstage, not to mention during appearances when fans seemed to want to know very single detail of her private life. "I'm so sorry."

"Don't be," Melina sniffed, swiping at her eyes. "It's not your fault."

"And it's not your fault either," Michelle replied softly, wishing she could do something to turn Melina's luck around. "You put the ball in his court. John doesn't know what he's missing."

Grimacing, Melina disagreed. "That's sweet of you to say Mich. But it _is_ my fault," she responded glumly, rueing her time spent in a relationship that wasn't with John. "I made my bed and now I have to lie in it."

"Things will get better," Michelle declared. "They have too."

"I wouldn't hold my breath," Melina rolled her eyes. "He seems pretty determined to keep living the single life right about now."

"Send him my way. I'll sort him out. He won't know what hit him!"

The image of John on screen disappeared, only to be replaced by a shot of John and Melina in wigs. Behind them on the green screen was an image of a cafeteria, in front of them, almost empty plates. Michelle gasped, a bubble of laughter threatening to burst out of her mouth.

"Oh. My. God."

"What?" Melina asked worriedly, thinking that they had somehow managed to offend Michelle before the thing had even started. "What's wrong?"

"That hair ... You look …" Michelle covered her mouth with her hand, trying hard not to hurt her friend's feelings. "You look awful!" Melina shoved Michelle lightly, not impressed. She knew how bad that wig was. No need to rub it in. Clutching her stomach, Michelle burst into a fit of giggles. "You might be the scariest blonde I have ever seen! You look like you belong in the Rocky Horror Show!"

"Michelle! I do not look like a transvestite!" Melina's jaw dropped. "That's horrible!"

"Oh ... Don't worry," Michelle snickered. "John's is just as bad. What a comb over! Heck, Donald Trump's hair looks better than that!"

"_Oi! Michelle McKewl! Hi! My name's Drew McIntyre."_

"_Drew. I know your name. I see you every week."_

"Drew," Michelle mimicked Melina's exaggerated impersonation. "I know your name. I see you every week."

Melina groaned, realising she was never going to hear the end of this. "I'm going to kill him."

"_Ye'know, the other day I was thinking may-beh we're related," _John as Drew said in a thick Scottish accent. Melina's expression matched the look of disgust written across her face on screen. "_Mcc-Intyre. Mcc-Kewl. May-beh our ancestors ad a wee bit of a go at it eh?"_

"_What are … what are you talking bout?" _Melina as Michelle smarted, seemingly fascinated with the plastic cutlery in her hands. _"I don't, I can't understand you."_

"Mel," Michelle managed through her laughter. "I know I'm meant to be mad at John. I am, really. Sister solidarity and all that. But this is freaking hysterical!"

Melina buried her head in her hands. "Oh," she said sarcastically. "It's about to get better."

"Better? How can it get better?" Michelle asked in amusement. "Wait .. Is that background on the green screen the cafeteria in High School Musical? It is! John's not going to sing, is he?"

"… Since when have you been such a big fan of Disney?"

The blonde smiled sheepishly. "Um. Would you believe me if I said Cody has a thing for musicals? And Zac Efron?"

The door to the truck opened, Cody Rhodes slipping inside to look for his girlfriend. "What was that about Zac?"

"Nothing!" Michelle lied through her teeth as she slipped her arm out from around her friend and kissed her boyfriend on the cheek. "Hey."

Cody smirked. "Hi yourself. What's going on?"

"I was just hanging out with Melina while John does some stuff for the Palace of Wisdom," she explained warily, knowing that Cody wasn't John's biggest fan. He could be exceptionally protective when it came to Michelle and when the occasion called for it, that protective nature extended to her friends as well. Cody had been extremely vocal about John's tendency to lead Melina on while he spent his sweet time getting his shit together. Shooting him a look that clearly said "_Be nice_" Michelle hip checked Melina, making sure she was okay. "I won't be much longer," she assured him as Melina bumped back. "Then we can do lunch, okay?"

"Sure," Cody agreed easily. "That sounds great. Did you want to eat with us Melina?"

"Huh?" Melina glanced up, distracted by the footage they had been watching. "Oh! No, thanks," she smiled gratefully. She knew the couple had limited time together as it was, being on different shows. She didn't want to intrude. "Thanks for the invite though. I um, already have plans."

"Are you sure hun?" Michelle asked softly. "You're always welcome."

"I'm sure. I want to see what John is up too," she shrugged mournfully. "I wouldn't be very good company."

Sighing, the blonde shot Cody a hopeful look. Rolling his eyes, he shrugged. Of course she would want to be wherever John was. "If you're sure."

"I am."

"_May-beh may-beh may-beh may-beh may-beh," _John as Drew stuttered on smiled wistfully at the memory of filming the scene. She had had so much trouble trying to contain her laughter. _"May-beh we should go to a farm sometime. Old McDonald's farm. McIntyre, McKewl, McDonald. E I E I O_."

"_Are -_" Melina as Michelle stumbled, remembering her character was supposed to feel frustrated. Beside her, Michelle was still laughing her head off, finding humour in the ridiculousness of the situation. Shaking her head, Melina began to laugh too. She had to hand it to John. He _was _pretty funny. "_Are you okay? I-_"

"What the hell is this?" Cody asked in mild bemusement. His face darkened as he processed what he was seeing, not at all impressed that his girlfriend was being made a mockery of, by John of all people. "What the hell Morrison? Does he think this is funny?"

"He's going to sing," Michelle spluttered, ignoring Cody's temper tantrum. "He's actually going to do it!"

"_E. I. E. I. Oooo," _John as Drew crooned to Melina._ "And on that farm there were some pigs. May-beh an oink oink here, an oink oink there? E. I. I O_?"

Michelle turned to Melina, eyes sparkling. "E. I. I.?"

"Ooooo," Melina replied solemnly.

The girls burst into another bout of laughter simultaneously, tears streaming down Michelle's cheeks as she grabbed a hold of her friend's arm in an effort to remain upright. Cody stood to the side, fists clenched, wondering what the hell he had stumbled across. Narrowing his eyes he focussed on the blonde. Was that Melina? Hell, it didn't matter if it was; Cody was all to aware that Melina would do anything John asked of her. Gritting his teeth, Cody scowled. Morrison was going to pay for this. The girls laughter quietened as they focussed on the screen in in time to see Melina imitate Michelle's trademark glare, her eyes squinty and her features squished together.

Michelle paused, absolutely horror-stricken. "Please do tell I do NOT look like that!"

Melina grinned wickedly. Knowing which line was set to come next in the script had its advantages. In perfect synchronisation with John she raised her eyebrows. "Just .. May-beh?"

Smackdown's former Lovin' Life Diva closed her eyes, her shoulders shaking as she tried to contain her hysterics. She was foolish to even try; seconds later her raucous laughter echoed throughout the massive track, production assistants stopping in their tracks to look at the blonde as she bent over clutching her abdomen. "Oh man, I haven't laughed so hard in ages! That was perfect Mel. You were great. Please tell me you're working on you Kelly impersonation."

"Oh yeah," Melina deadpanned. "It's always been a dream of mine to play Kelly Kelly. Not."

"But you look so good as a blonde," Michelle pouted.

"I could never pull it off, I'm not dumb enough," the Woman's Champion teased. Snickering, she caught the eye of one of the audio technicians. He looked less than impressed. "We should go." Grabbing Michelle's hand she looked around. "Where's Cody?"

Swivelling to face the entrance of the truck, Michelle saw Cody stormed out the door, no doubt heading to find Morrison and give him a piece of his mind. "Oh crap," Michelle muttered under her breath. "He's going to find John. We've gotta go."

Melina paled, their previous conversation regarding her ex running through her head. "Wait, how do you know? If he does, he's going to kill him!"

Rushing through the truck the pair threw the door open and flew down the steps. Dodging their co-workers loitering around the back door of the arena they dashed inside, pausing when they came to a fork in the corridor. "Which way?" Michelle panted. "Do you know where he's meant to be?"

Melina shot Michelle a dirty look. "What do you take me for?" Michelle shrugged as Melina rolled her eyes and moved to her left. "Down here!"

Speeding down the hallway they took a sharp right. Melina lead Michelle to the other side of the arena before skidding to a stop before the cameraman filming John. Gasping for breath, Michelle leaned on her friend and scanned the room for her boyfriend. "I don't see Cody."

"To your left," Melina whispered, spotting Cody on the edge of the area. John noticed him at the same time she did, his body language becoming very defensive. "Shit. I can't see this ending well."

"_What we have here is failure to communicate! Drew, it's not a Scottish problem. It's YOUR problem_," John drawled, the Intercontinental Championship slung over his shoulder. "_Annunciate! Everybody understood William Wallace! Freeeeeeeeeeedoommmm_!" John bellowed as he titled his head back, spotting Melina out of the corner of his eye. Watching her bury her face in Michelle's shoulder he frowned and turned his attention back to his skit. "_Just open your mouth when you talk man. No one can understand what you're saying_." Pushing back his shoulders, John became serious and looked straight down the barrel of the camera. "_This has been a journey through thought. Now, go! Feel the Power of Wisdom!"_

"_And … cut. That was great John, thanks." Packing away their equipment the crew began to leave, thanking the Superstar as he made his way over to the girls and blatantly ignored Cody._

"_What's wrong?" Were the first words out of his mouth as he gently prised Melina away from Michelle. "Mel? Are you okay? What happened?"_

"_She's fine," A cold voice spoke up from behind the trio. "Which is more than I can say for you."_

"_Oh?" John asked casually as he stepped away from the women. "And why is that Cody? Enlighten me. I take it you've yet to feel the Power of Wisdom."_

_Cody scoffed. "Power of Wisdom. Yeah. How about you feel the power of my FIST!"_

_Before anyone had a chance to react, Cody had delivered a sharp right hook to the side of John's face. The girls shrieked at the same time, watching John stumble slightly under the force of the blow. Melina immediately moved in front of him in an attempt to stop Cody from striking again., Michelle flying to Cody's side to yank him backward. John cursed, grabbing at his eye and wincing. "What the fuck was that for?"_

"_Cody! What the hell?" Michelle yelled. "Why did you hit him?"_

"_I think what you're trying to say is why didn't I do it earlier," Cody spat. "Were we watching the same thing Michelle? He was taking the piss out of you!"_

_Michelle blinked. "What? The Palace of Wisdom thing?"_

"_Whatever you want to call it," Cody glared at John. His right eye was swelling rapidly, Melina tucked into his side. "I don't know why you were laughing Michelle. It wasn't funny."_

"_Are you kidding me?" His girlfriend asked, completely dumbfounded. "Cody, John was making fun of Drew. The only reason I was in it was because of my last name! Melina had already asked me if it was okay. It was just a skit! There was no need to get angry about it!"_

_Cody hesitated. "You knew about it?"_

"_Yes," Michelle rolled her eyes exasperatedly. "I actually thought it was pretty cool. John has a pretty good sense of humour. Do you think I would have said yes if he didn't?"_

"_That's beside the point," Cody shot back._

"_Cody …" Melina said quietly, stepping away from John. "I know why you did what you did. Thank you for looking out for me, I appreciate it. My relationship is my problem though. I know you have a problem with the way things turned out, but that's between John and I."_

_Cody sneered. "Actually, Melina, I'm pretty sure it involves all of us. You want to know why John? One. That's how many times Melina has blown us off today for you already. Two," he gestured to the tears sliding down Melina's cheeks. "The amount of times she's cried over you already and it isn't even 2pm. Three, the number of times I've wanted to sock you in the mouth in the last fucking week alone - and we're not even on the same frigin' show!"_

"_Melina, I'm so sorry," Michelle apologised profusely, the Southern twang in her voice thickening. "We'll go. Sorry, John."_

"_No blood, no foul," John muttered, glaring at Cody. "Thanks Michelle."_

"_You," the blonde growled at Cody. "Come with me."_

"_But Mich-"_

"_Now, Cody."_

_Turning on her heel Michelle stalked off in the opposite direction, Cody shooting John a fiery long as he trailed behind his girlfriend. Turning the corner she headed for the nearest room, pulling Cody inside with her. The look of concentrated anger slipped from her face as she locked the door her excitement getting the better of her. _

"_How did we do? Do you think it worked?"_

_Cody laughed, remembering the look on John's face after he had socked him one. "As long as John never finds out that you orchestrated my attempt to rearrange his facial features I think we'll be okay."_

_She winced, her face falling slightly. "What if it doesn't? What if he finds out? What if one of those stupid production people lets it slip that John did ask me about appearing on the Palace of Wisdom before and me telling him it would be funnier if Melina played me? What if-"_

"_Hey," he interrupted. "It's too late to worry about this now. Plus, you already let it slip that John asked you in front of Melina about five minutes ago." Seeing the anxiety reappear on her face he wrapped her up in his arms. "We did what we could. If this doesn't cause John to pull his head out of his arse I don't know what will. We played our part Mich. If he still has feelings for her then things will work out."_

"_He does," Michelle insisted with a sigh. "He has too."_

"_Don't take it personally if he doesn't," Cody chided. "You can't make up the man's mind for him. You've done everything you can."_

_Biting her lip she looked at him through shrouded eyes. "What if we did the wrong thing?"_

"_Mich, we've been planning this little sting for weeks," he teased, taking her hand and spinning her around so that her back rested against his chest. "How many times have you asked me that question?"_

"_Twenty-two, at last count."_

"_And how many times," Cody said quietly as he rested his chin on her shoulder, wrapping his arms around her waist. "Did you decide that risking everything so that Melina and John might be happy again was worth it?"_

_Resting her arms on his own she closed her eyes. "Twenty-one," she whimpered as he nuzzled her neck. "Cody, you're not playing fair."_

"_I never claimed to fight fair," he chuckled, placing an opened mouth kiss on the side of her neck. "If I fought fair I would never have been able to steal you away from Taker in the first place."_

"_Oh?" Michelle murmured. "That's what happened?"_

"_You're not the only one who can plan diabolical schemes Beautiful."_

_She snorted. "Diabolical. I seem to remember you showing up outside the Diva's locker room, completely wasted with a rose between your teeth. I don't know if I would call that diabolical."_

"_It worked, didn't it?'_

_Twisting in his grasp she rolled her eyes playfully. "You might have worn me down the third or so time it happened."_

"_And now you love me," the second generation star grinned. "In my books, that's a victory."_

"_Cute."_

"_Yeah, you are," Cody agreed sweetly, leaning in to give her a kiss. Blushing, Michelle responded eagerly, relishing the opportunity just to be close to him - it wasn't a luxury being on separate shows afforded them often. Kissing her again he pulled away, feeling a vibration between them. "Is that you or me?"_

_Reaching for her pocket Michelle pulled out her cell. "Me."_

_Cody watched her read the message, her expression falling before a wide smile spread across her face. "Melina?"_

"_John." Snickering, she held up the phone for her boyfriend to see. "Why do I get the feeling I've just been played McKewl?" She read aloud. "Melina says thank you, and not to wait up." _

_Punctuating the sentence with a squeal Michelle threw her arms around Cody's neck and kissed him thoroughly. "It worked! Cody, it worked!"_

_Laughing, he spun her in a small circle. "Finally. No more moping Melina."_

_Michelle's phone vibrated again, distracting her. She laughed, before handing her phone to Cody. His face fell automatically, obviously not liking what he was seeing. "This one must be for you."_

"_Tell Rhodes he's a dead man. I don't care who he thinks he is, I'm going to break his face."_

_Cody gulped. _

"_Michelle!"_

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_Please review._


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